Lies, Lies, and more Lies

What is the point of a lie? Is it to protect self or others? I wonder why so many people lie over stupid things. Things that they don't even need to lie about. Are they afraid of being discovered so they try to protect self? Is it possible that the lie they say was to protect someone else was really they didn't want to deal with the other persons reaction? Either one seems to be selfish. How can they say they love or care for the person in either case? If it's the protecting themselves lie then the other person really doesn't have a clue who they really are. If it's the protect the other one lie then the other person doesn't haven't an opportunity to grow, change. Both rob the other person of the right to make decisions that are best for them. The real clincher is the lie that ends in a whole web of intertwined lies to try to mask the original lie. Don't they ever get confused? Do they get trapped between reality and fantasy? Why not just tell the truth at the gate? I would think that would be easier. Don't they feel guilty for lying then saying 'You're my best friend' or 'I love you'? Don't say these phrases since you don't know how to be a friend or how to love. More interesting is the case of the liar who is caught lying, continues to lie, creates more lies then tries to turn it around on to you. This is a defense mechanism which causes much strain on any friendship or other ship. How about the liar who wants you to take responsibility for their lie? Grow up. Example, 'I wouldn't have lied if you wouldn't get so angry.' or 'I was trying to protect you because I know how your feelings get hurt.' You are not protecting them you are saving your own ass the trouble of dealing with the outcome. It is not their fault you are incapable or have a lack of coping skills. Let's say the person does have an anger issue or a self esteem issue...be honest and let them take responsibility for their own emotions. Don't ask them repeatedly to forgive you and give you another chance if you aren't going to work on changing it. If you don't want to change that's your right and just tell them. Oh, that's right since they tend to lie they probably won't tell you they aren't going to change. Some will even act as though you are in the wrong for not trusting or believing them. How about this one...playing victim...'I can't be my self'. Who is responsible for this? Them, not you. Now, everyone lies from time to time. Some peoples lies are small, some are big, some are harmful, others are not. How do you distinguish them? I like to put people in my life into categories. Spouse, children, family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and other. My spouse deserves the truth at all times, even if it hurts. All other categories are on a more of a need to know basis with varying degrees of needing to know. Children are special. They see you at your worst and best. They deserve to know what ever is going to help them in life, to achieve their goals, secrets to success, but do not need to know what you and your spouse had an argument about. Family actually gets broken into sub categories. There are family members I like and those I dislike. Those I feel closer too and those I do not. If I am speaking to a like/close family member I steer away from subjects which I am uncomfortable talking about with that particular member. The other members I keep it very superficial. Friends, well....I don't have many, but I do have a few. I'm not going to tell them everything but sometimes they know more than family. Co-workers are on a need to know basis at nearly all times. Since we do work together and see each other frequently you may notice I am down...please don't pry because chances are I will not be honest with you. Acquaintances, we don't know each other and unless you get bumped to friend status it's none of your business. Last but not least is the other category. You deserve nothing. So, I say don't do anything to a person you wouldn't want them to do back. Don't be a terrorist and hold others hostage. If you don't want to be honest with a person that's you're right but perhaps you need to re-classify the category in which you have them in. Everyone at least deserves to be in the appropriate category for which you have them assigned and what comes with that.