Today is my brother Joshua's birthday. He would've been 31. He passed away February 13th, 1999 at 19 years old. I miss him. I spoke of him briefly in a previous blog. Today, I pay tribute to the life of Josh.
I barely remember my step-mother being pregnant. August 25th, 1979 Josh became the 3rd born of my fathers children. I was 7 years old. My brother Stephen and I didn't live with our father, we lived with our mother. The following summer when Stephen and I visited we met Joshua for the first time. Only thing I remember about him that summer was him having an asthma attack.
We seen Joshua during the summers over the next few years. There are a few things I can recall about him during those visits. Joshua absolutely loved the way dad would make his stuff animals come alive. Of'course not literally but dad was very animated and had voices for each of them. Josh would crack up laughing. I thought it was funny because I knew it was really just dad. One day Josh was pointing out the living window talking about an airplane. None of us were able to see it. We all looked and looked over the open sky, nothing. Then there it was, a speck barely visible. Josh was blessed with extraordinary vision.
I only seen Joshua one more time after those first few summers. I don't know how old I was but I was with my dad and we went to L.A. to see Josh. I also met my brother Ryan for the first time. He was born when Josh was like 4 or 5. I'm not really sure. Josh was very thin. He smiled a lot and said weird things like little brothers do.
I was pregnant with my second child the next time I seen Josh. He was about 14 or so. Again he smiled a lot. I now lived about an hour from dad and had the opportunity to see Josh more frequently. He liked to ask things like 'For how much money would you wipe the fattest rich guy in the worlds ass for?'. He was certainly unique. He laughed even when no one else was laughing.
One day Josh wanted to come visit us and decided to ride his bike from Lodi to Fairfield over an hour away. Dad called and said was on his way and riding his bike. Apparently he wanted to do this. I thought he was crazy. The shortest route was down Highway 12 which only had 2 lanes was also curvy and hilly. It was getting late. I was worried. When my husband got home from work I sent him to go find him. He was amazed by how far Josh had come.
When he was 16 he came to live with my husband (at the time) and I for the school year. I felt special when he asked if I would make a pot of my spaghetti for a school function. When he asked us to help him create a mohawk we did. We used knox gelatin as glue and kool-aid for color. He wore ripped jeans, t-shirts and a chain on his side. He liked to mosh and was given the nickname 'Josher Mosher'. It was truly an experience getting to know my brother. I enjoyed his attitude and sense of humor.
Joshua loved pranks. If someone else pulled a prank on him he didn't mind. He would be smiling mischievously and thinking up ways to get you back. So, on one of dads visits we decided to see if we could get over on Josh. It wasn't always easy to pull the eyes over his eyes but we went for it. Dad and I scraped of the ex-lax sign on a bunch of ex-lax. When Josh got home I told him I had some Swiss chocolate that my friend had given me. He took a big chunk and ate it up. He loved it. He then said he and his friend were going to go for a walk. Dad and I looked at each other. Uh oh. Josh called not long after dad left saying saying he needed to crap really bad. My husband wasn't home so Josh had to walk. Poor Josh had to walk several miles home. He said he had been holding it. I said nothing at the time. Dad and I told him later. He felt so proud that he held his crap for so long. He said he would get us back.
After my ex-husband and I separated I moved in with dad. Josh and I hung out quite a bit. Nearly a year later he died. I was devastated. I had lost a brother, a friend, a son. I occasionally have dreams of Josh. The dreams always make me smile. Josh you will forever be in my heart. I love and miss you very much. One day we will laugh together again. Happy Birthday!
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